God, listening to John Mulaney talk about doing hard fucking drugs in his youth is like hearing a nun reminisce on her last orgy before she converted. What do you mean you didn’t come out of the womb with a fatherly demeanor and crippling anxiety?
The hardest drug I can picture John Mulvaney doing is a bottle of tums
exactly 1 minute ago i had absolutely no idea what the plants sesame seeds and peanuts came from look like and i am shocked and surprised
for some reason every time I see pineapples growing I laugh out loud. Like, the punchline is it’s a pineapple!!!!!!!!! it’s a pineapple
An Interesting Fact About Peanuts, while we’re on the topic of food-plants:
Peanuts-you-eat grow underground, but they are NOT part of the peanut plant’s roots. Peanut plants are ambitious little fuckers and plant their seeds themselves. They flower like any perfectly reasonable legume, but once the flowers have been pollinated the plants do something called “pegging” (no really), in which they drill the stems where the flowers used to be into the ground. And that’s where the peanuts you eat form. Like so:
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol
man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this
I don’t play that shit lol sorry
WHyyyy
Sorry everyone
If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only
Shiddd
this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!
It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr
I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES
LMAOOOO
Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~
One time I didn’t and I was broke for like a month but the next time I seen it I rebloged it and a bitch just got 500 out the blue and a 20 gift card
I wake up, my debt is all paid off, my bank account is full, my relationships with my family are healthy, and I’m able to travel anywhere in the world.
reblog for this ultimate fantasy life to come true
